This is the column where you find out what is happening with your team. Read on to find out about the comings and goings from your team, the rumours and innuendo, with a few sprinkles of real news to top it off.
COMINGS & GOINGS
* 2010 Captain Tomo Togo has been exiled to Hong Kong. Occupational hazard! Apparently he intends to make 'paid' guest appearances when he is back in town visiting Ma, Pa & Bra Togo. Less handsome, less intelligent, older brother Yoz is flying the family flag by making 5 minute cameos every three or four weeks. It has been noted that his pace is quite deceptive...he's actually slower than he looks.* Dave Richards, better known as Welsh Dave, has left these shores to head back home to Wales to gain real employment
* Irishman & permanent crock, Sean O'Donoghue, having made one appearance in the last two years due to lenghty injuries will also head back to Britain
* Will Thompson, another rarely sighted in the past year, has moved back to Sydney, Australia.
* Gaz Dalrymple is back from 2 years of self-imposed exile in Kobe
* Lock and part-time prop Ken Asakura joined the team earlier this year
* Shin & Shinya, two university buddies of Natsu's, have given us added depth in the forwards
Odds and Ends
* Andy & Lucie Ballard are to 'officially' marry in Prague on June 11th. At least 7 of his Gaijin team-mates will be in attendance
* Thanks to Aaron Nutsford and Carol Bedauin for hosting a 'wedding party' in Tokyo for those who cannot make it to Prague. They put on an excellent roast with spuds and caramelized onions. Ex-captain Murray Clarke was in fine form spilling wine all over the place and yabbering on and on.
* Yoz Togo, great great grandson of Admiral Togo of Naval fame, will be tying the knot in June. It has not been confirmed if his future wife has a bun in the oven (pregant) so we are not sure if it is a shotgun wedding or not...the typical Gaijin way. This will bring to an end many weeks of pure bliss for young Yoz. Apparently he has really enjoyed choosing clothing colours, sampling flower bouquets, cake tasting and being fitted by men with high voices.
*Warren Adamson, who broke his ankle during the Tokyo Cup game against Supermen, has had a successful operation and is now recuperating. Word is that he is considering retirement (but not if Joffa has his way) but there is concern that the baby he is carrying may turn into twins.
* The Gaijin players who went to the Philippines for the Manila 10's raised almost 100,000 yen through the sale of old jerseys and polos. Alaister Nimm'o's company doubled it to make the amount 200,000 yen. Well done to the Manila tourists
* Coming to a computer near you. The Tales of Pengi in Makati. The heart-rending story about the trials and tribulations of a young, lost penguin in the bosom of Manila. Written, produced and directed by Rick Bales.
* Matt Downer ran the Paris Marathon in April. I thought he would do better than his time of 15 hours and 22 minutes suggests.
*Tristan O'Connor just returned from two weeks in Spain visiting his Spanish Bambino. It's hard to have a long-distance relationship for a young single fella in Japan.
* Soon after the Earthquake certain players received phone calls at 3 or 4 a.m in the morning from their embassies telling them to get out of Japan as their passports had expired. apparently two Gaijin players holidaying in France were behind this.
* A TGRFC back, known as Mr Hikikomori, has rarely been seen recently as he is moonlighting as a paper delivery boy to pay for medical expenses associated with the birth of HIS baby. Apparently she offered her honour and he honoured her offer and all night he was on 'er and off 'er.
* A TGRFC player of mixed Chinese and Australian decent can't wait to be owned. He has missed of few games recently with the excuse of being sick, but sent a mail out about a month ago saying his father-in-law said he shouldn't play rugby until he has medical insurance. The thing is he is not even married. Maybe he's already under the thumb.
* Snake Talker put back the icecream and went for a jog last night. That's two nights in a row. Blow me down.
* Matt Downer is in Tanzania hunting Springbok. In a World Cup Year, New Zealand can probably use all the help they can get.