Team Defence
August 6, 2007
August 13, 2007
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Breach of any of the following 10 rules should be brought to the attention of the tourist accused of such breach by the communication of the title (shown below in Bold) of that rule to that tourist or recorded in writing.  Such notice or written record is not conclusive as to guilt but shall amount to an accusation and should also be recorded by those other tourists present.  Failure to record a valid accusation for whatever reason (valid meaning that on the balance of probabilities such tourist had broken a rule) is a breach of the rules and shall be know as giving a “Reach Around” – All written accusations must be submitted to the Tour Manager by Sunday 3pm. Judgment of the accused will take place at the Sunday Trial upon due process, punishment shall be delivered immediately thereafter.

1.“Dress” – The tour dress code shall be strictly followed at all Tour events with no exceptions.  Tour events include any activity engaged in from the earlier of the time on March 22 when tourists gather in Tokyo to travel to Manila or Noon on such date to 8am March 26.  For games, tour dress shall mean the tour playing kit for the players and substitutes for the game.   For all tourists at events other than games and for tourists who have not been picked for a game as a player or substitute, tour dress shall mean tour formal wear or, as applicable, tour special wear [tour special wear will be issued to you if applicable]

2.“Buffalo” – Drinks containing alcohol shall be drunk whilst being held in the left hand by right-handers, and in the right hand by left-handers.  If a tourist makes a claim of ambidexterity, the foolish tourist will be subject to ridicule and other tourists may dip any bodily appendage in the fool's drink before or during consumption without the right of objection or protest from the foolish tourist.  Any drink taken contrary to this rule is ‘buffalo’ and can be called out by any tourist at anytime. If a tourist is found to be guilty of heinous crime of buffalo the guilty party must skull the sullied drink and purchase himself another.

2.1“False Accusation” – strongly associated with buffalo justice, anyone believing themselves falsely accused of a crime can call false accusation whereupon the tourists nearest to the person having made the false accusation court will instantly convene themselves into a tribunal and pass summary judgment – the penalty for a false accusation is the skulling of the drink held by the false accuser and the purchase by the false accuser of a drink for himself and another for the innocent defamed party.  At the Sunday Trial anyone may attempt to afford themselves the defense of false accusation, failure of which defence will result in an automatic doubling of the sentence.

3.“Tardy” – Tourists must meet all scheduled and announced (in writing, verbally or telepathically) events.  Scheduled times for meetings and departure times must be kept.  Tardiness will not be tolerated.

4.“Solo Touring” – Teamwork is expected both on and off the field and Tourists are reminded that we are all part of the same team.  Therefore, Tourists are expected to maintain the integrity of the main tour group – splinter groups, sub groups (etc) and soloists will not be tolerated.

5.“Scuba” – All pointing must be done with an elbow, all other non-verbal communication must follow international scuba practice.

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6.“Captain’s Orders” – Tourists must be sober and in peak physical condition for every game.  Complaining, whining, crying or similar action with respect to health before, during or after a game will not be tolerated.  On Thursday and Friday and after play on Saturday and Sunday tourists should participate with enthusiasm and panache in all festivities attended by the tourists.  Exhibition of an insatiate buccaneer or samurai zest for life is the standard deportment.  Please note that the standing order, and therefore your responsibility, is to drink as much booze as you possibly can whilst maintaining yourself in peak physical condition.

7.“Pace” – All tourists playing in games shall play with the utmost effort and at maximum pace.  Sloth or other lack of effort resulting in a tourist acting or otherwise engaged in activity at a medium pace will not be tolerated.

8.“Performance” – All tourists playing in games shall play as if gifted internationals without mistakes of judgment or skill.

9.“Grass” – All tourists shall acquire a notebook and record actions of other tourists in breach of these rules.  Such evidence shall be kept in the notebooks and written neatly in blood or red ink.  The evidence will be presented as described under Judgment set forth below.  Failure to bring a single charge shall be subject to ridicule and punishment.  Assertion of dull or boring accusations shall be subject to punishment.   When two or more tourists are gathered in a bar situation and one of the gathered calls for a display of books, all tourists present must produce their notebooks and pens and place them on a nearby surface, the last person to produce their notebook and pen accordingly will be required to immediately skull a drink.

10.“Conduct unbecoming” – Any tourist seen taking any liberties, diabolical or otherwise, may be guilty of the crime of conduct unbecoming.  Due to the nature of this heinous crime any tourist ‘Grass’ must make full disclosure in their notes of the liberties seen to be taken to allow a full and frank assessment of said conduct by the court in the Sunday Trial.


1.Buffalo – judgment in a buffalo call can be applied at any time by anyone.

2.Sunday Trial, after the end of play, and otherwise at such time announced by the Tour leadership, the tourist court of high crimes and retribution shall be held.  Tour leadership shall appoint a judge, a prosecutor and a defense counsel.  The tourists, other than the accused for the particular offence, shall sit as an advisory jury.  The judge shall determine procedures and announce a verdict, and pass sentence.  Punishment shall be determined and administered swiftly and without remorse.  The convicted shall take his punishment and like it.

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